Yesterday I saw a play and after met actors in life. They looked so pathetic. Just miserable sad people. They were given a scolding by direction. The one thing I thought: "Thanks God, I am not an actor. No doubts, my profession is hell, but their is much worse" It is so unfair! People put their heart into playing and after not only their playing skills but their nature, personality and behaviors are attacked. It is so humiliation. Suppose, being given ad hominem arguments absolutely unfair and being unable to defend oneself...
I feel ill and disappointment. Generally because of my progress in studies. Just I know whatever I do it will not be appreciate. In spite of any efforts I will not be a success in Academy studies. Bad marks, obviously. But I have to keep going there, handle it all. Over and over. I just mustn't give it up. Because it will make it worse. Because I have duties. And this is one of them. What am I suppose to do?!
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